Beginning To Take Selfies – Colin Surname (Becoming More Like Alfie, The Divine Comedy parody)

Beginning To Take Selfies – Colin Surname (Becoming More Like Alfie, The Divine Comedy parody)


Hey.
Look at my face. It’s a face that you’d like to see. Okay: You’ve seen my face,
though I hid my disgusting teeth. And my arm
is raised up high. It’s an angle that guarantees I’ll minimise my baggy eyes. Now I’ll gurn like I’m still 14. Take pictures! Everybody knows they’re
perfect 10s, if they: Learn their way around
a camera lens; you just: Hold your cameraphone
at full arm’s reach… I’m beginning to take selfies. You
can do the same. Your reflection will be the key.
Forget the shame: It’s hardly vain
to make use of technology. So glam up,
and throw some shapes. Find the pose that describes you best.
And show your mirror some trial and error.
Keep the one that looks good and delete all the rest.
Add filters! Everybody knows the selfie way;
you just: Hold your camera up and
pull a face, then you: Show the internet your artistry.
It’s exciting to take selfies. We’ll continue to take selfies.

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