Family


SUZY: Affected family members,
for instance, or someone in close proximity to
ongoing dependence, Velco and other drugs, whatever. Much higher uses of health
care services and psychiatric services than the
general population. So a lot of anxiety,
depression, fear. And so it’s easy to start
having that conversation, shame, isolation. So with that, it oftentimes
gives people permission to own that, actually,
I do feel really scared. People will say, oh, but by
the time people get to us, they don’t want to have
anything to do with their family or their family don’t want to
have to do anything with them. Fair enough. But it’s not about that. It’s about support. It’s about support
people, connecting people. And with support
people, whether it’s in the 12-step or it’s church
or down at the gym or whatever, or in a new group, you know. And Kay would say, it’s about
making those connections so that they have them
when they’re away from us, because that’s
where people live. They live their
life out there, not in a alcohol and drug agency. That’s where they can
learn some skills, have a bit of a
practice, come back. But the connections need
to be made out there. If people are going to
start taking some care, then they’re going to be able
to come back into themselves and intuitively know what
to do, because people feel so crazy by the
time they get to us that they’ve lost the ability
to make good decisions. They’ve lost trust in
themselves and the other person. They’re really lonely. They’re really isolated. Even though there might be a
whole bunch of people around, they’re in the middle. They’re not telling the
husband the whole truth, because then he’ll do this. You’ve got two or
three siblings. They’re starting to get
really annoyed and think, oh, why doesn’t she
just do something? Or, why doesn’t he man up
and tell her to stop that? And so managing all
that kind of stuff but never realized what
a huge tolerance taking. People think they’re
the only ones. They don’t want to talk about. It’s too shameful. Don’t want to see my
friends, because they might ask me how my son’s doing. Their son’s at university
doing really well. I don’t want to tell them
that my son’s going to court next week for some meth. They just ripped off my
LCD screen and DVD player. We can’t leave
town, because we’re too scared they’re going
to break into the house. So how I managed that is I
just stopped seeing my friends. The desperation gets
people in the door, because they don’t
know what to do. But the more it’s talked about
and the more it’s out there, then they’ll know someone
who’s done something like that. And then they can, because
that’s the other thing. People don’t know the
support available.

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