How To Create A Perfect Society In Cities Skylines

How To Create A Perfect Society In Cities Skylines


It’s so nice that spring has arrived. It reminds me of Autocratic Governments! This government type is pretty shitty in real life but so cool in movies with their matching uniforms. A while ago i used the game Cities Skylines to create a Dystopian Megacity! That failed misrably and the reason was because megacities are so 80’s I should have created something modern! but not too modern, something 2011. A dystopian young-adult city! Today I’m gonna show you how to create a YA dystopian society. Then, most likely, a girl, that all the hot guys want, will defeat the evil dictator and that’s how we will get a perfect society. I know, in my ‘Game of the Year’ video I promised to never make a gaming video ever again. That still holds true, this is a political science video. Step 1 to build a dystopian city is to add some roads then complete a city so that we can destroy it with nukes. And then comes the intro voice over. After the nukes fell, the neo founding fathers decided we needed a new society with less colourful clothing so they created THE SOCIE.. THE SEMMH… THE SSS.. THE SOCITY A mix between ‘society’ and ‘city’. A very clever name, everyone agreed. This is my template for the city. In the middle we are establishing the rich evil government who are an allegory for strict parents. We need to give the place a YA dystopian name. What about.. The Cental Capitol Capital…. Capital. Starting to look good! In the middle we’ll put an epic spyre where the president will live This guy! And his name will be… President Ty Rant You are probably not smart enough to get it but the name actually has two meanings. Now that the capital is done we need to creat district that only do one specific thing because there’s nothing more evil than being organised. District 1: the Cargo District People slave away to deliver containers to other countries Wait.. there wouldn’t be any other countries.. that’s the whole point I didn’t think this one through. But I’ve already built it.. They are just sending cargos back and forth… yeah.. But what if this travel district travels to another district? The districts are divided by a fence. And a 200 metres dirt wall that police spray with lube every hour. District 2: the Industry District Oil is drilled, steel is mined, wood is cut and sex toys are assembled. People who live here are forced to work. They aren’t alowed to sit around and watch Youtube all day disappointing their parents.. *cough cough* District 3 is the Parks and Reaction District. They take care of parks and nature reserves, which sounds really nice, but these nature reserves have genetically modified vampire giraffes Giraffes are already modified horses but now they are double modified. District 4: the Military District. We’ve raised the soldier cost without the fun of being a soldier. Like, if they go on parades they are not allowed to have any catchy music. Snipers arn’t allowed to 360 no-scope. And all the cool military rations have been replaced by non-warrior food. Like… smothies… and Quinoa. District 5: the Water District. Their life is all about the water. They live on the water, they drink the water, some said that the population themselves are 60% the water. District 6: Education and Science. Their motto is: “Oh you think you’re stressed out?” The people here study all their lives then make no money. They also have to sell their kidneys to buy university books. But still, tuition is free because we are not ‘that’ dystopian. Distrcit 7: Farming The Cental Capitol Capital Capital requires all kinds of meat: cows, pigs, antelopes. This whole place is just honest days work. Pretty relaxing all the right place. District 8, I have run out of district ideas. Euh.. this district is dedicated to.. fuck, I dont know. Elephants and Bouncy Castles. Two vital resources required by the Capital. They cannot survive without this place. And District 9, the lowest cost where life is pure torture. The Amusement Park District. Doesn’t sound so bad? Clearly you’ve never worked in an amusement park. The young-adult dystopian society is finished. Now comes the most important ingredients. Any day now, a young girl who is “plain looking” will rise up and fight the rulers. And also several super hot dudes who want to marry her. But, reminder, she is “plain looking” to make her more relatable. 20 minutes later Euh… It’s been 20 minutes and not a single rebellion has happened. Why?? Ahh.. it’s the same problem as last time… Everyone is happy, especially the Elephants and Bouncy Castles District. Who would want to live in a society dedicated to elephants and bouncy castles? [Sigh] Fucking everyone… Okay, the actual reason people are happy is because we don’t have a death competition where we gather a bunch of people and they fight to the death just like in Minecraft Hunger Games. Need to make room for the arena. Oh no! District 8 is starting a revolution because they are tired of bouncing and baby elephants. What an unrealistic lie. I am putting down the rebellion with diplomacy. Because of their insolence we are establishing the Fortinite Games! This is the arena were people will fight for their lives. Let’s make it cozy! First, bleachers.. dont have any like arena seats so we are just gonna put down a bunch of fancy benches then people will have to move them to the drop. VIPs get fire towers It’s important to make the place feel nice so we can have visitors in the non-killing game season. We can rent it out for concerts and shit. Death metal in the death arena. The arena itself should be a cozy place to kill each other with trees and rocks everywhere and death vehicles But because of our dedication to no carbon emissions we’ll have trams. Of mutilation. Then we’ll put one metro line to every district to fill it up with people and then we can start. “Capitolers, welcome to the first ever Fortnite Games!” “Our contestants will fight in front of our massive audience of 3 people” C’mon guys! If you are not gonna participate in the program your government might stop investing money in murder games! Wait.. murder.. I completely forgot there are no mechanics to make people kill each other for sport. That’s my DLC recommendation, Finns. We’ll just launch every nature catastrophe we can find and the last one to survive wins. “A forest fire has started!” “And an earthquake!” “A comet!” “Ah, and here come the tornado destroying the bleachers!” “Poor three poeple!” Looking at the aftermath, no one survived. Except this guy over here! “Max of District Amusement Park!” “By killing all of your opponents without any help” “You are the winner of the Fortnite Games” “Your reward…” ..is distressful employment as new revolutionary leader. But first we gotta destroy your house so you want revenge more. And the name Max Ward is a perfect rebel name, honestly. Now we must wait again. 20 minutes later Really?? Still nothing! Is it really that hard to shut down an oppressive government? I must say the dedication to- A terrorist attack! Do not use that out of context. The revolution has started, soon the capital will fall. Okay.. maybe destroying a toy factory in the wrong district really ruins the picture of you as a rag-tag team of rebels. Okay, setting fire to a national park. Come on. Who knew that revolutions could be so mean spirited? I’ll control them by building a dam because.. Oh wow! If this dam collapses the districts will have mud walls to protect them but the capital would drown! Oh let’s hope the revolutionaries dont blow it up! No! Don’t blow up the nuclear power plant, that’s bad! Okay, so the Energy District is not safe for humans anymore. Maybe picking the people who are the best at murder might not make the best revolutionary leaders. This was a failed experiment. I’m gonna stop it by putting police helicopters ev- What’s going on here? Don’t poison the water supply! That’s the only place people get water! It doesn’t just affect the Capital! Ah now everyone is sick and dying. This is very unfortunate. For me because healthcare costs money so we are gonna lower it. Still, humans need water to live, it’s a dated feature. God should really patch it out. I fixed it! Everyone died. Thus going from a dystopia to a post-apocalypse. It was a biological mass extinction, where did all this sand come from? This was a long journey, but in the end we succeded in creating a perfect society. Because literally no one has any complaints.

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