Struggles of Coming from a Conservative Family

Struggles of Coming from a Conservative Family

Family time always sounds
like a good idea to me until you realize that
just because you’re family, it doesn’t mean that you’re
gonna agree on everything. Part of growing up, is actually
forming your own opinions, whether that’s the way that you dress, sexuality, gender, or
politics, and that’s okay. But understanding how to
navigate situations with people that you grew up with and that you love, can be somewhat difficult
and or challenging. – I think specifically when
you think of Latino families, there’s always a couple of family members who are very conservative in their views of how you present
yourself to the world, or the lifestyle that you choose. And they’re always trying to
make their opinions be heard. – I do come from a conservative family, but they’re only conservative
like, with certain things. – I’m Puerto Rican and Salvy. My immediate family is super liberal. However, we all have those
tios, tias, and primos who are a little bit more
on the right leaning side. – My father is very
conservative, very religious. – I grew up evangelist. I was deeply rooted in church. – I think he has mainly a
problem with me liking boys. – My mom was very conservative
about my sexuality. Her belief is a woman
supposed to be with a man, not with another woman. – If someone in my family voted for Trump, I want to know why. I don’t try to be combative, I want to hear where
someone else is coming from. – I respect my conservative, more conservative family
members because I know that they came from either a different
time or a different place. And they weren’t exposed, or
didn’t have the opportunity to be exposed to as much open mindedness. – My dad’s first cousins,
they are very vibrant and full of life, and those
Puerto Ricans who love Trump. They feel like because they’re
commonwealth of America, which is also very questionable, they have this pathway to the states that other people in our community don’t. I feel like it’s a very elitist viewpoint. – I went into high school
thinking that I was straight. And my goal for the first day of school was to get a girlfriend. I wanted to not disappoint
my mom and my grandma. – When I came out, it was very rough. She thought this was going to be a phase, and now she knows that is
not a phase, that this is me. – So then, first year of college, I’d gone out the night before,
and I ended up making out with my girlfriends boyfriend. And people were taking
photos with my cameras, and the next morning I wake up and my mom has my camera in her hand. And she’s like, “What is this?” She throws herself on the
floor, and she’s like, (speaking foreign language) – I came out to my father over the phone, he basically freaked out. He started reading the Bible. – I sat down one day and I was
like, “Why is she so angry?” I’m pretty sure that when she was younger, she thought about okay I’m
gonna have my daughter. I’m gonna dress her up like me. I understand that she had dreams for me, but I also have dreams for myself. – His point of view
hasn’t changed that much. We just don’t talk about it
anymore because you know, I’m older, I don’t need his
permission for anything, so he just sort of stays quiet – When I see them you
know, we always have like really kind of like
small talk, fun banter, we don’t really get into
the politics of things. – When I do accept and go to
a family function with him, I put Britney Spears on and I’m just me, because it is what it is. He’s the only one who
doesn’t accept it, so. – I was like, if you don’t accept me. It’s fine. You don’t have to be in my life. – I feel like I was imprisoning myself. I was battling trying to be accepted. I was battling for my mom to
view life the way I view life. It’s okay to agree to disagree. – I’ve been so blessed and so fortunate to have a mother that just
loved me unconditionally. – If you’re going back home to seeing your conservative family,
my advice is, be you, girl. If they ain’t paying your rent, they have no opinion in your life. – Take care of yourself first. You know, if you want to
just talk about safe topics, that’s totally fine, if you
want to get into the real talk, that’s totally fine as well. – I think the only way to really deal with these kinds of family members is by being yourself, showing them that there are other ways of being. – Stand up for what you believe in, and protect your heart at all costs. It’s the only thing that you have. – And I know that that is challenging because not all environments are safe. – You got to stop being (foreign language) and just mind your own business. As long as we just respect each other. – Take it slow. It’s a process, we’re all evolving, – You only have one
family, and so learning how to love one another
and understand each other, and then celebrate each other, should always be what we aspire to. Don’t be stubborn or closed off. Be open to understanding each other. You don’t always have to agree, and you don’t have to
try to convince anybody. You can actually agree to disagree, and you can always love
your family from afar. But please do make sure that
you take care of your heart and your spirit first. Because we need you. (speaks foreign language) (gentle calming music)

68 thoughts on “Struggles of Coming from a Conservative Family

  • This is the blurriest I've seen 1080p 👀🧐?
    … nevermind, it was just Curly's intro that wasn't crisp. 🤷🏾‍♀️😣

  • Coming from a family who is very homophobic and quite religious, I agree with these struggles. I have to dress in a way that makes them happy, and when they found out I was gay, they were NOT happy.

  • As a gay Latino I can totally relate!!!!! Thank god my parents are more open minded then they were when I came out at 19. I'm thankful i moved out right after coming out, it was extremely challenging but I'm so glad I did. I get along with my parents better now than I used to. ❤💚💙💛💜💗 🌈

  • I am a latino and proud gay man and the hardest thing for me is to have been born in a socialist or communist family that idolize dictators or murderers like Che Guevara, or Fidel Castro, men who killed dozens of people just because they were GAYS or homophobic characters like HUGO CHAVEZ or EVO MORALES.

  • "Protect your heart at all costs it's the only thing that you have." – Thank you for sharing that, Johnny. It's true. I used to get into it with one of my uncles because he's the super religious one in the family. We almost got into a physical altercation once. He knows not to say a thing to me these days because he saw that I was willing to take him out. Lol!

  • My Durenguense ex's family; mom, dad, uncles, cousins always would say to me "we're so glad he has you, you're part of the family too, we love you! " but he refused to acknowledge it. He insisted I was "just a friend" until we broke up after 6.5 years. It's a shame. I am so proud of the younger generation for their bravery, honesty, and intersectionality.

  • Growing up in a Cuban Catholic strict family you have no privacy. My mom would go through my purse. I told her you should get a job with the FBI.she took all my pictures and cut off all the heads with scissors off the men in the pictures and thought what are people going to think they're going to think you're a tramp. And I said no Mom people going to think you're crazy 😂 listening to this I am so glad I am not alone… I have crazy Latin parents!

  • throws themselves on the floor
    "I want to die! I want to die!"

    (sterotypical) immigrant mothers when their child does something they disagree with😂

  • I'd like to see the people that talked in the video more on Pero Like. They seem to have an interesting perspective

  • My dad was super religious and conservative. When I told him I was an Atheist he didn't talk to me for a month.😂 Now he is more open minded.

  • My dad is his 20’s was a communist during the war in El Salvador and now that he’s 60 he’s become a somewhat conservative. I just think like wow after all you’ve been through and now you’re becoming right wing. He almost lost his life for his beliefs back then and I feel like he’s traumatized because of it.

  • Wen I told my mom I was dating a girl she was yelling at me and telling me it's not right and that the bible doesnt say this and that. And my dad didn't talk to me for almost 3 months which was really hard since we were somewhat close. But now time as gone by I think my parents are "ok" with it but they just don't talk about and I dont either cause that's just how things are, you know? But I'm also pretty sure they think it was a fase and that I'm fully straight now 😭😂😂

  • My hispanic moms a liberal (and my moms side), my hispanic dads a conservative (and my dads side). I don’t know how my parents still love each other till this day lol. Mom hates trump, dad loves trump. 😂

  • The moment you expose your channel as an elitist leftist propaganda channel.

    I enjoyed your channel until today when you portray conservatives as an unacceptable community and backwards thinking.

    This video is disguised as tolerant…IT IS NOT. Conservatives want the best of society, tambien!

  • My mom and her family are conservative and religious. Her siblings are quite liberal. My father's side is not as conservative and religious. Luckily, my grandfather and father are liberal. When I came out to my mom, she was in denial and now refuses to acknowledge it. I lost a lot of family but with the one that matters now, my mom is the only one who prevents me from being me (tbh, we've been having this struggle since I was in elementary, but she has less to stress about knowing I like men).

  • 😂😂 bro growing up in latin conservative family is sooo annoying but your love for family allows you to tolerate their bs a lil more. Just cuz your lame dont mean i have too

  • pero like should be more inclusive and have some conservative or at least more centrist ppl on here all we get is super liberal left wing latinos and they do not represent many latino and it often feels like propaganda one sided ….maye yall could get latino intellectuals musicians etc from both sides to get their views too like bookwriter agustin laje or the chilean singer mon laferte

  • I love Curly! I can imagine this being so difficult. Thank you for being yourself and I'm glad your family members came around better if not all the way.

  • I married an atheist, and my grandparents tell my cousins, "they're not really married because they didn't marry through the church."
    Church is an evil place of that's what they're making you think.

    According to my legal document, I sure as hell am married!

  • "I understand that she had dreams for me but I also have dreams for myself"
    As a mother I will practice and remind this to my self. I have many dreams for her but this hit me deep.
    Simple is her life not mine and I want her to live her dreams and life with out remorse.

  • I understand these perspectives yet don't resonate with them. As a 2nd generation Hispanic that comes from a household where conservatism expanded as I grew older, I must say I am very conservative and a God-fearing woman. I expected this video to go in the direction of a strict parenting household rather than a more political/cultural route. Although many Hispanics may relate to this, not all do. I think the main point is to respectfully disagree and not shy away from conversation unless they become hostile.

  • my mom used to be homophobic as hell until I slapped some common sense into that pendeja. Now, she's chill…. my family knows not to come at me with their bigotry and homophobia or else I will call ICE on their asses. LOL

  • I feel like this video is attacking people who are conservative and in a way saying that they’re wrong, even if they didn’t say that. How about we do the other side, coming from a liberal family?

  • So I had this friend I knew for years, then after we had sex they said they were hardcore Republican/conservative. They never mentioned it for years! We no longer have sex lol

  • realizing that your personal happiness outweighs making or keeping other peoples expectations of you is everything … life is fickle and sometimes short af so live and let live.

  • Theres a difference between being conservative and being a rude (idk if that's the right word) conservative. I would consider myself conservative, but I love everyone no matter their opinion or views. I would never treat them any different. Unfortunately you just meet the wrong people.😕

  • This is the first time I don't like one of your videos, not because I'm a conservative guy means that I don't respect gay, lesbian or whatever, is not my problem what you do with your life, and all you do in this video is demonize conservative people. Just because we don't agree in many things that doesn't mean we are bad we just have different opinions

  • I feel very fortunate to come from a family that wasn’t super openly political. It allowed me to grow and firm my own opinions. They had some more conservative views on their daughters specifically “no dating, no sexy clothes, etc” that my brother didn’t have to deal with. I think those things are issues I’m still unpacking. They did their best and I can definitely say I have never felt unacceptable in their eyes.

    However, my cousin was exploring her sexuality in her teenage years and performed oral sex on her boyfriend. Her very conservative and very religious mother became hysterical upon learning this information. She called her daughter a soiled dove and asked how she could do this to Jesus.

    Idk, but I feel like coming to your child with the love of Jesus and not condemnation as if you’re the lord himself may be a better way to grow a relationship with your child.

  • Ugh, people using faith as a way to mistreat gay ppl is so lazy and ignorant. The same book that calls it an abomination (which has more to do with temple rituals than actual sexual orientation which the bible didnt even have terms for) calls wearing clothing made of more than one material and abomination- lemme see that tag bigot! Oh its a poly-cotton blend? Abomination!

  • I’m sorry but this just confirms my view that conservatives = close-minded people. 😞 They have such problems accepting other people for who they are if they’re any different than themselves. Ugh.

  • i love your story Sebastian, i will remember you when i get out from this bubble. you're strong and you have a new admirer.

  • so confuse by all these comments about the video be against the conservatives… ammmmmm did they even read the title or watched the video!!!! is about the STRUGGLE of comming out in a conservative family!!!! something many many many LGBTQ people have to deal speacilly in the Latino community!!!! watch the video before you comment stupidity and look like an ignorant asshole!!!!

  • Wow watching this makes me apreciate mine more (I already apreciated them) and thankful of minded my parents are. They never restricted my sister on anything (that wasnt bad).

  • My parents are very Catholic Polish immigrants to Germany, and I'm a gay trans protestant leftist…. Basically everything they hated

  • I already had a feeling Puerto Ricans think exactly what homegirl said. She just confirmed it. I never really had the best experience with Puerto Ricans. Not to say that all PR think like that tho.

  • 3:05 "I understand that she had dreams for me but I also have dreams for myself" So many parents have kids so that they can have free caretakers when they get old, have little copies of themselves to show off to others or to live vicariously through them – they forget that their kids are individuals too with hopes and dreams of their own. It's a sad day when kids grow up having to choose between their own happiness and their parents', who have a responsibility to ensure their child's happiness but are just adding to their misery.

  • I am the father of CurlyV and I don’t have any problems with him being gay whatsoever. I am very supportive of whom he is. As for the folks within this video, I am happy that some of you have overcome these struggles, while others may be working on these matters, please remember you are loved and surround yourselves with people that know you are worthy as any other human being. And I wish you a happy life whether your family understands you and loves you, or they themselves haven’t gotten over their very own issues, not yours. Signed el tío Carlos

  • My family is also half liberal and half conservative. When my sister came out she was really scared and didnt know what would happen, but when she did my mom said to her "you are my child, i carried your for 9 months and it hurt to birth you, I will love you no matter what" then my mom proceeded to tell everyone in the family that my sister is a lesbian and threatened them with bodily harm if they said any homophobic or disparaging comments about my sister. I love my mom so much.

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