Dividing the United States Into Independent Nations – The Jim Jefferies Show

At this point, America is so politically fractured, there seems to be no turning back. The great divide in American politics shows no sign of closing… or even quieting down. Man: A Pew study finds 81% of voters say they cannot agree with the other side on basic facts. Exactly! We’re all in our own […]

Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts w/ Will Ferrell

OKAY, NOW LET’S TAKE A LOOK AT THE FOOD THAT WE HAVE HERE. WE HAVE, WE HAVE COW TONGUE, WE HAVE ANT YOGURT WHICH I’VE NEVER HEARD OF. WE HAVE FIGURE FLESH MEATS JELLY.>>DELICACY.>>James: RAW CLAM SHOOTER WITH VIENNA SAUSAGE JUICE.>>THAT’S A NICE TOUCH.>>James: YEAH, A GIANT WATER SCORPION. FISH EYES. JALAPENO HAM AND MAYO […]

We Need to Make Drugs Seem Less Fun – The Jim Jefferies Show

Welcome back! Ah, you couldn’t get enough of me, could ya? Seems odd. I’m not a hard habit to break. I could give you the phone number of several women who quit me cold-turkey. But a lot of people do struggle with addiction, and often they’re blamed for their own problem. It’s a tricky balance […]

Allison Williams’ Family Has Gotten Used To Watching Her Sex Scenes

>>Stephen: HEY! WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. HEY, JON. FOLKS, MY VERY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS BEST KNOWN AS MARNIE ON “GIRLS.” SHE NOW STARS IN THE NEW THRILLER “GET OUT.”>>SIR, I CAN SEE YOUR LNLS, PLEASE?>>WAIT, WHY?>>I HAVE STATE I.D.>>NO, NO, HE WASN’T DRIVING.>>I DIDN’T ASK WHO WAS DRIVING. I ASKED TO SEE HIS I.D.>>YEAH, WHY. […]

Ancestry Tests Have a Lot of Issues – The Jim Jefferies Show

Welcome to “The Jim Jefferies Show.” I’m Jim Jefferies. And if you’re looking for the perfect Mother’s Day gift, look no further. Woman: Give Mom the ultimate gift of self-discovery with an Ancestry gift subscription and a DNA kit. What better way to tell your mother you love her? “Mum, spit in this tube. In […]

Lisa Kudrow Spills The Beans On Courteney Cox’s Genealogy Test

WELCOME BACK! WELCOME BACK TO THIS LIVE “LATE SHOW”.” WELL, FOLKS, SHE’S THE EMMY- WINNING ACTRESS YOU KNOW FROMBA “THE COMEBACK” AND, OF COURSE, AS PHOEBE FROM “FRIENDS.” HER NEW MOVIE IS “TABLE 19.”>>STAND UP.>>NO.>>STAND UP RIGHT NOW, PLEASE.>>WHY?>>I WILL GIVE YOU 20 UNHYPOTHETICAL DOLLARS IF YOU STAND UP RIGHT NOW.>>ALL RIGHT. OKAY. WHAT?>>HONEY.>>OH.>>WHAT A […]

Amazon Echo – SNL

>>THE AMAZON ECHO HAS HELPED MILLIONS WITH THEIR DAILY ROUTINE. >>ALEXA, WHAT TIME IS IT? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS BLASTED THING? AMANDA — [ LAUGHTER ]>>BUT, THE LATEST TECHNOLOGY ISN’T ALWAYS EASY TO USE FOR PEOPLE OF A CERTAIN AGE. >>THESE KIDS BOUGHT ME A BUSTED MACHINE AGAIN. ODESSA!>>THAT’S WHY AMAZON PARTNERED […]

Conan O’Brien’s DNA Test Stunned His Doctor

>>Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT HAS WRITTEN FOR “THE SIMPSONS” AND “S.N.L.,” AND AFTER 25 YEARS, HE’S THE ELDER STATESMAN OF LATE-NIGHT HOSTS. PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO “THE LATE SHOW,” MY FRIEND AND YOURS, CONAN O’BRIEN! ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) ( APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪ ( […]

Nicole Kidman Forgot Stephen Was Also In ‘Bewitched’

>>Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. MY FIRST GUEST IS AN OSCAR-WINNING ACTOR AND PRODUCER WHO JUST WON TWO EMMYS FOR “BIG LITTLE LIES.” PLEASE WELCOME, NICOLE KIDMAN! HELLO! NICE TO SEE YOU. ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )BOTH CHEEKS!( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).>>WOW!>>Stephen: HEY!>>THANK YOU, YEAH.>>Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN, TOO, BECAUSE MANY PEOPLE MAY […]

White Supremacists, You Won’t Like Your DNA Results