Today we look at
the history of Sandy Cheeks. Yeehaw! The earliest known fossilized squirrel
date from the Eocene Period. You know, I think we
can skip ahead a little bit. Keep going, keep going.
Oh, too far. Yes, there. The first known ancestor
of Sandy, Dark Knight. Halt! Who goes there? Doth mine eyes betray me? ‘Tis the nefarious Dark Knight. Dark Knight lived during medieval times
in Bikini Bottom. She’s clearly much larger
than Sandy in stature, and has yet to develop
Sandy’s self-contained underwater breathing apparatus. It is here we see the first instance
of a Cheeks family member practicing the art of karate. We can assume Dark Knight passed down these valuable
lessons to Sandy. For I will follow you on your quest
to defeat Planktonamor. And learn a trifle of that karate. Yeah, karate! [screaming] Oweth. Many generations and squirrels later,
we briefly meet the next recorded ancestor of Sandy Cheeks. Don’t blink or you might miss her. There, did you see her? Let’s see that again. This footage was recovered
from Dead Eye Gulch, and is the only visual evidence
we have of Sandy’s western ancestor. Notice how this is the first ancestor
wearing a helmet. And the cowboy hat on top
if definitely a look. Hold on a minute.
Is it possible the hat was passed down all the way to her underwater
descendant, Sandy? [laughing] Aw, shucks. The next family member we know about
is Grandpa Cheeks. Grandpa presumably lives a quiet life
in Texas, as he is never seen. But Sandy still has
fond memories of him. And let’s not forget
my Grand Pappy’s favorite, the Tour de Saturn. Star gazer. Grandpa meets an unknown grandma, who is seemingly just as
reclusive as he is. Yada-yada-yada, meet Pa Cheeks. Sandy, this is your pappy speaking, and I forbid you
to go after this worm. Y’all come back here, young lady. You ain’t my Pa. No, that ain’t her Pa.
This is Pa Cheeks. Nope, that’s a picture of an acorn. This– No, that’s Sandy’s diploma. To the left.
No, other left. Stop! This is Pa and Ma Cheeks,
and cute little baby Sandy. Although an old photo, it’s hard to dismiss
the similarities to Sandy. Sorry. Gotta go back.
We missed someone. Grandpa Cheeks has a sister, Rosie,
Sandy’s most famous relative. My Great Aunt Rosie Cheeks
was the first squirrel to discover oil at Spindletop, Texas. She’s ready to blow! Yeah, seems legit. OK, where were we?
Right, back to Pa. We know he had a sibling, because Sandy has at least
100 woodchuck cousins, one of which is named Earl. Ready, Cousin Earl? Let her rip, darlin’. 100 woodchucks chucked. Record broken. Thanks for all your help, cousins. [yelling] See you all next Christmas. Bye! She also… has a Scottish cousin?
No way that’s true. Ay, ’tis true. Pa and Ma Cheeks have three kids. There’s Randy, Sandy’s twin brother. It’s a letter from my twin brother, Randy. Randy says the rodeo has come to town!
I’ve gotta head back to Texas, and defend my championship title. Championship title? For what? You got cotton in your ears? Hm, no, it’s not cotton. It’s actually an old moldy
piece of Krabby Patty. And Rosy, not to be confused
with Great Aunt Rosie. [buzzer] Rosy looks like Sandy, but seems as if she’s been preparing
for winter a little too long. Hiya, sis! She lives in a trailer in Texas
and has three daughters, Macadamia, Hazelnut and Pistachio. No, not that. [buzzer] – This one here is Macadamia.
– How do you? – Hazelnut.
– How do you? – And little Pistachio.
– How– [burping] All they want to do is wrassle. Now you girls go easy on me, OK? [screaming] That brings us to the one
and only, Sandy Cheeks. Yeehaw! Sandy grew up in Texas,
but was sent to Bikini Bottom to study the undersea life. Back in Texas, I wrangled bulls
and I wrangled worms. Sandy is most commonly seen
in her suit for oxygen. This old thing?
It’s just something I threw on. Which is white and has a yellow
patch with an acorn on it. The suit comes with a big glass helmet
with a pink and yellow flower on it. She also wears grey boots with
one red dot on each side of them. Having come from Texas, Sandy
speaks with a heavy southern accent, and uses typical southern slang. Back in Texas, we call
ice cream ‘frozen cow juice’. I’ll be over there faster than
a barefoot jackrabbit on a hot greasy griddle
in the middle of August– Yeah OK, Sandy, thanks. She’s very athletic and loves karate, a skill in her family dating
back to medieval times. How about we talk about
some other Bikini Bottomites that bare a strange resemblance
to Sandy, like Miss Appear. Now you see her, now you don’t. Does this outfit make me look fat? Super Sandy. [shrieking] And Mr. Pavlovi. How would you like a nice free bowl
of tutsi frutsi ice cream? Alright, here are all known members
of the Cheeks family tree. Join us next time as we discover
the interesting ancestry in yet another chapter
of Nickelodeon’s history, in what could be our longest episode yet. Of course, you remember Zeke,
Rufus, Gee, Billy Bob, Billy Jim, Billy-Billy
Banana Fana Fo-Filly, Doug, Ines… – Fletcher McGee, Rain Child…
– Alright, I get it! I mean, come inside.
Make yourself at home.