The SQUIDWARD TENTACLES Family Tree 🦑🌳 SpongeBob SquarePants


Today we look at the history
of Squidward Tentacles. We begin at the dawn of time, when the Squidasaurus Rex
roamed the earth. This magnificent creature is
most likely linked to Squidward by ancient evolutionary coincidence. I mean, just look at
that nose and head shape. There is clearly a relation. Many generations and lifeforms later, we meet the first official
ancestor of Squidward, Squog. Huh? Squog lived during the pre-historic
era of Bikini Bottom, before modern language was developed. Squog’s appearance is
very similar to Squidward, except he has a 5 o’clock shadow,
a uni-brow, some black hairs on his head and one tooth. Like Squidward, Squog doesn’t get along
too well with his neighbors. Pattar! Squog! And now we move on to the next
member of the Tentacles family, Squiddly Tentacles. Does thou talkest to me? Squiddly hath lives in the
Bikini Bottom Shire of the Medieval Era. He was the royal fool to King Krabs,
but was later imprisoned. Send these slanderers to the guillotine. Squiddly looks almost
exactly like Squidward, except for his jester clothes. Squiddly also plays the clarinet,
or at least tries to. And is most likely the reason why Squidward is such
an awful clarinet player. If I never learn to play with ease, may my own great-great-great-great
grandson be cursed tenfold! Hopping on down the family tree, we arrive at the next member of
the Tentacles family, Hopalong Tentacles. Hopalong lived during the 19th century, when Bikini Bottom was known
as Deadeye Gulch. He worked as a server
at the Krusty Kantina. What can I get you, stranger? Give me a shot… of milk. – Milk?
– Two percent. – Think you can handle it?
– I drink this stuff every day. Hopalong is very alike
to Squidward in appearance. But wears a vest, as well as
a brown shirt and a bolo tie. Oh, and how could we forget about
that glorious handlebar mustache? Who-wee! Look at that thing. Like the rest of the Tentacles family, Hopalong is musically inclined. Fast forward to modern day, we get to the oldest member
of the Tentacles family, Grandma Tentacles. She has grey hair and wears
a long dark pink dress, and light green slippers. Grandma shows up when she find out
Squidward stole her recipe for fricassee and is undercooking it,
making everyone sick. Grandma! Someone’s been cooking my recipe. And they’re doing it wrong! Grandma marries an unknown
Grandpa Tentacles, and voila, Squidward’s dad
Jeffrey Tentacles. Squidward’s father next hugged him. The elusive Mr. Tentacles is rarely seen, but is almost identical to his son. Except for his glasses and red tie. They both wear matching polo shirts.
Like father, like son. How cute. Mr. Tentacles marries Mrs. Tentacles,
Squidward’s mom. Hello. Mrs. Tentacles closely resembles
her son’s appearance, and lives in a very similar house,
except for the curly hair. Mrs. Tentacles haunts Squidward’s dreams
for not keeping in touch. Why haven’t you called your mother? And loves making him her cookies. Let’s go bake some cookies, boy! Together, Mr. and Mrs. Tentacles
have their one and only son, because as Mrs. Tentacles put it… One of him was enough. Squidward Tentacles. Squidward is a turquoise octopus,
not a squid, that sports a brown shirt,
droopy nose and six tentacles. Squidward is a lover of the fine arts. I have conquered all artistic medium. From mastering the clarinet
to whatever this is. We’re not done there.
Squidward has a cousin named Squeeze. Squeeze only says one word. Whatever. He has bushy blonde hair,
just like his cousin once had, wears a brown shirt like his cousin, and should pay closer attention
to his skincare. Speaking of his nose,
his nose points straight, and not down like the entire
rest of the Tentacles family. I think we covered it all. Oh, are you serious? OK, I’ll let them know. Sorry, I spoke too soon. It turns out in a crazy turn of events
that through adoption, Squidward has two brothers,
and those two brothers are SpongeBob and Patrick. Brothers. [blabbering] OK, so now there you have it, folks. All known members of the Tentacles family. Whatever. Join us next time as we discover
the interesting ancestry in yet another chapter of
Nickelodeon’s history on Nick Family Tree. There will come a day when
I will make something of my life, and I will never have to set foot
in this grease trap again! Yeah, we’ll see you after
your lunch break, Squidward.

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